[ReubenVP]

During my career as a lumberjack, I've cut down exactly 52,487 trees.

I know because I kept a log.

[Stan Thomas]

Driving home out of London yesterday I saw a signpost which said "Golders Green three miles, but to you - two-and-a-half".

[ReubenVP]

What do you call a shipment of French snails headed to Spain?

Es Cargo.